1. |
Passion Narrative
12:46
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sunday my lover sailed away
my lover sailed away and the day laid low
aware that sails strip slack and that ships crack
sink back down to the dark below
where the bad folks go
then everybody held hands
raised flags, prayed, and waved like the waves wave
quiet when the tide is low
cracks in the pavement, patterns in the mattress
sure he is a pacifist but how were we supposed to know
with all the blood flow
the children descend
to play war and angels, priests and devils
the congregate crumbles home alone
sunday my lover sailed away
my lover sailed away
and the sea wept salt and sacrament
children in the alley build cannons from trashcans
oh no! all the blood flow
(ash wednesday)
a hesistation
a notch set gently in words
trickled out over zephyr scarf
and marking an alley's worth of walls
a hesitation
a hand run over a cross
of automotive grease on our brows
oh, to dust shall you return
after all
then i remember you once
with three white tigers and threadbare fingers
and movement older still by admission
then i remember you once
as i remember all things in tradition
wait! tradition? bullshit!
we cough scrap metal lung
and gasoline spit
like we could be the brand new futurists
you and i
as we say
or as we might say
and sacred canon?
fuck it
here's a revised manifesto
that you can tack on to your docket
to all concerned parties
there is no chance of reconcilliation
give it up
and then i remember you once
as i should never hope to know you
or know you again
(holy saturday)
and the blind will lead the blind
the blind will lead the blind
the children cry
the rest just go home
the blind will lead the blind
the blind will lead the blind
the martyrs die
the rest just go home
and blindly weave and sink into a silent prayer
hands clasped, conjuring, whispering
like children crying far from home
divining hopeful thoughts from guts laid bare
with the fear that lives in everybody here
the fear that after all is said and done
we're all alone
we're all alone.
i don't want to be alone.
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2. |
Christmas Pigs
02:33
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and that day
the flickering spark day
the lonely snowflake day
the stop right in the middle of the goddamn street
to pick up something
that day
glimmering
all glimmering
then a soft place to stay
to pen a song as delicate
a brick against bone
and that day
the day you finally saw how souls glow
stupid and tawdry and cheap
and you won't believe in anything at all
it's a vulgar trade
all lined up
hammers and sacks
and little christmas pigs
all glimmering
and dropped in a pocket
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3. |
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goddamn
what a botched operation that was
everybody falling all over one another
every eye falling all over one another
and tilted like a lampshade
letting off light falling all over
like music anymore
the major life
the minor fall
just let it go on
the shirking of service
so heavy, so light
to rise like an eyelid
so heavy, so light
a scar as a cilice
so heavy, so light
the music so risen
so heavy, so light
i could meditate on you
untie you like a knot
fully formed, opened up
blossemed in my mind
i already know, i don't need to know
if it's really you i'm seeing anymore
we create what we need
the major life
the minor fall
just let it go on
i am not to blame
you are not to blame
the world just fades away sometimes
everything's okay
you are a diamond tonight
and i am so heavy
so light
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4. |
Traditions
06:22
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she doesn't cry out loud at night
because no one really does that in real life
she just sets her coffee pot
gets undressed, goes to bed
and though she still has dreams
in the morning they mean just next to nothing
and she can't around to taking those pictures down
so she just doesn't really look at them anymore
when pressed about these personal decisions
she admits a certain deferrence to tradition
she still sends out christmas cards
though the list gets shorter every year
she still gets some in return
stored away,unopened
when winter's made its way to town
and this one's bound to be as bad as any
the house is still alive
with soft young light
and the fragrance of poinsette and amarylis
when pressed about these precarious positions
she admits a certain preference to tradtion
so sun rise and set
set the mistletoe
deck the walls and count yourself among the few
the blessed and time honored
carried on vast shoulders
that stagger back and slump beneath
but still support the weight of you
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5. |
And The Last Word
04:06
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those are ugly ugly words you say
they are etched in bold letters like pictures
in my mind everything is not fine
it was late so i didn't bother calling back
just pillars on a straight line
i woke up when the sun woke up
i stood up too fast and got dizzy
i saw the little bright flares
floating to the ground
when the lightning strikes the tree
the tree might come down
but it might just get a grip on itself
get a grip and get busy
i made my rounds through the house
the ones i always make
repositioned anything that seemed out of place
wiped the dust away, let the light in
i believe in new beginnings of life in my wake
dont' you tell me i'm forever stuck in my ways
i am fire freshly lighted
and i'll burn out when the sun burns out
and i rise so slow times you may just miss it
i saw the hyacinths ponderously push throught the dirt
when the flood hits the flower the plant may unearth
but the roots may run deeper than you and i
ever could have guessed it
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6. |
Flatwoods Texaco
04:01
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the wake up call is a breathtaking storm
if i brave the wild winds and wind along i-79
just lean against the driver side door
warm my lips on a flatwoods gas station coffee
the road this far is empty
but it will fill up soon enough
one hundred breathless miles
to west huntington
you can run, but you can't hide
the place that you were born old friend
is bound to be the place you'll come to die
i roll the window down
let my hands glide on the currents
thick air rolling by
and getting warmer by the minute
the sun has just begun
to eat its way up through the mountains
directly behind me
all the best intentions
line that unforgiving circle
sweet birch and pitchpine
nestled up against the river
you can run but you can't hide
with their molten hearts and memories
they will shuttle you inside
the place that you were loved the most my child
is the place you'll come to die
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7. |
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i got into the car and i turned the ignition
let me be very very clear about this
i got into the car against all better volition
and i eased it back out into the night
i got your message alright
i battled my way onto i-17
the frozen winter weather shifted
the storm they sent was so vast and strong
i've never seen a thing so bitter and vindictive
i know it was meant to stop me dead in my tracks
there is no wall that they could build
to hold me back
when i was halfway to the bar
i called you on the telephone
i still know your number by heart
but the message was new
i rolled the window down
and stuck the phone out as far as it would go
and i let the wind send ferocious praises
of my love for you
make no mistake sugar
that's not just wind you hear
it'a a gale
the likes of which
could send this little car soaring off
spirit clinging to this body like a torn tarp
i know you're at the other end of this line
i'll be there in no time
there is nothing left but the desert
and the desert is nothing but empty
and empty is the favorite home of the faithless
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8. |
De Providentia Dei
03:57
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focus on a heart
this is your direction
every ventricle
valve and blotched vermillion
sunspots that surround it
take it in your mind and mold it
give it form
give it shape
focus on a heart
this is your creation
every rhythmed racked
and burning new sensation
let the flow and ebb define it
take it in your hands and wind it
give it mind
give it flame
give it life
focus on a heart
this is your providence
every light left
or stuttered beat of old breath
the ways that you have known it
take it in your heart and own it
in mercy or severity
silent god or poetry
give it yourself
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9. |
Crows
05:34
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somewhere in this great big world
there's a man standing quietly on a kitchen chair
and the long dark elastic is pulled tight around his throat
and the cardinals are still singing in the background
somewhere in this great big world
there'sa girl throwing everything away
because it still has your scent and the night always whispers
keep one bullet back just in case
but the sky forfeits light too
so don't if you don't want to
cause somewhere in this great big world
there is someone who is just like you
somewhere in this great big world
scavenging is better still than perishing
obscurity is safer than the contrary
things are not as exacting as you wish they would be
but the sky forfeits light too
so don't if you don't want to
cause somewhere in this great big world
there is someone who is just like you
the sky forfeits just like you
time doesn't always come on through
language musn't always come to words
a crow is an intelligent bird
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10. |
Passion Subjective
02:37
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i'm an old song
today i feel older than ever
i guess we're all old in some way or another
i pretend to know more than i ought to
i know much more than i think i do
i'm a child at heart
of accidental catharsis
i shouldn't betray myself
if there's truth here
i might just find it
sooner rather than later
cause somewhere inside me, though deep
i know
we're not alone
we're never alone
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11. |
The Child I - The Box
04:03
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the box came around mid morning
damn near broke down the door
with his tiny young hands
hill face rock tumbling
catchweed and moss creeping
frozen and crumbling waste
he opens his frigid mouth
music all wriggling out
calliope notes from the days as a child
gone by
and a child goes by
his fist blooming flowers
his ragtag trumpeteer army devours
the silence of loss
the wren, albatross
the feather of innocence
lost in your wheezing wind
open your little mouth
let your teeth tumble out
let loose your handfuls of grain
let the christmas band play
you know the song
so when you set your table
line your chair with daisies
to let them know you're waiting
patiently, patiently
the coracle, the caravel
cast your wintry curses to the bristling air
and when the box comes round
you'll still pluck that hateful feather
you'll line your arms with daisies
like you've ships to sail
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12. |
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oh, careening innovator
build for us one thing
a pendulum to remind of us
the permanancy
i was feeling i guess a little too ambitious
ready to take the extra few planks down the pier
were the ground will become less mottled wood and footsteps
more briny and cold
collect your seashells babe of mine
charred sea grass of alkaline
lightning turns the coast to glass
the waves crash
the last of autumn passed quietly like a child
breath taken eyes locked upwards at the libyan sky
the first of it's kind
guilio now tens years gone
doubtless would have marvelled on
at such atrocities
the smallest ships are docking finally
but i turn and leave them all behind me
i won't fight for this
lightning turns the coast to glass
the waves crash
oh careening innovator
build for us one thing
a perfect cipher for a living sphere
swaying endlessly
oh disasterous creation
look at just what you've become
a pier, a thought, a child gone
an aerial bomb
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13. |
The Child III - The Bomb
04:57
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the coracle, the caravel
innocent antiquities
aloft a day sidereal
from home to west of tripoli
spinning swift dirigible
in a softly swelling cascade
the earth she sways so suddenly
and sweeps away
21 knots my brothers ho!
if we wanna get home
then we gotta keep going the wrong way
30 more minutes to the libyan front
if we wanna keep going
we're gonna have to drop our load
mathematicians, entrepreneurs
citizens, where did we go wrong?
oh careening innovators
what have we become?
november 1st is cold as hell
even in a desert
the frontier looms before us
ever so thoughtfully
such great heights
and barren as a child
21 knots my brothers ho!
if we wanna get home
then we gotta keep going the wrong way
30 more minutes to the libyan front
if we wanna keep going
we're gonna have to drop our load
mathematicians, entrepreneurs
citizens, where did we go wrong?
oh careening innovators
what have we become?
but wait
there must have been some mistake
maybe i'm wrong after all
and as the fire fills the sky
and the ship catches light
i know now the truth of it all
the bomb is love!
thank god we finally see!
the bomb is love!
and grace and mercy and sweetness and serenity!
yes!
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14. |
The Child IV - The Child
07:14
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slice along my lateral line
razor tooth to caudal fin
down my spine and back again
render my insides
and lay me out to dry
sea dogs sour tripoli
in tonic immobility
the main land casts the coastline
and slips off in the high tide
wash away my eyes
in blinding light
mirrored up like cataracts
of crescent moons and union jacks
abandoning a mind
already left behind
memory drapes across me
like woven calliopsis
the flowers bloom and invert
water in a desert
guilio my child
i can feel you with me
but look away, look away now
i am not crying
guilio my child
i know you are with me
but look away, look away now
i couldn't stand for you to see
guilio my child
i know that you miss me
but look away, look away now
i will soon be with you
guilio my child
we are only children
so look away, look away now
let us learn our lessons
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15. |
Wintering
04:48
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i remember the last time
you were naked beside me
the way your body moves when you sleep
is almost like the seasons
a slow familiar machine
i guess i know the seasons like anyone
by the pictures on the posters
by the schoolyards growing up
spring is frought with flowers found in
summer's green and light
autumn comes when leaves begin to cover them from sight
every winter
i become convinced
the trees will never redress their branches
and how will i ever hide i them
i have never heard my own heart
but i remember hearing yours
my head on your chest
and your bare skin is soft and electric
i am bursting out in all directions
in the dark i become convinced
my body is too big
so how will i ever hide in it?
how will i ever hide again?
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16. |
Robert Creeley
01:08
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seems like all my friends are getting married
the rest of them are bound to get divorced
last fall i ate fresh fruit by the bounty
this one's bound to be as barren as they come
and when they come
the girls are firebrands and waitresses again
and the boys are still just looking for show
next year we'll spend too long dissecting the options
new curtains
no fire, no gold
i know a man!
goddamn goddamn!
1987, the year of our lord!
last fall i ate apricots and raspberries
and stumbled through the winter with a song
now all my friends are getting married
the rest of them just go on and on
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17. |
Big People
03:18
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you were afraid for a little bit
but you won't always be afraid
all those people that would hurt you
are more terrified than you've ever been
and you might feel like you can't ever win
you won't always feel that way
all those people that would hold you down
or hold you back
are losing races they were never in
to begin with
there are names
and there are places
even for the smallest things
we're not not young anymore
but we are brave
i believe you can do anything
so you might be afraid of them
i know i've felt the same
but all those people
big big people
are more afraid of you than you are of them
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18. |
Parasuicidality Pop Song
01:42
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down on the boardwalk where the people get wet
and the salt water air fits like a tourniquet
i caught a glimpse of my future in your figure somehow
and someone said something about a storm coming in
well you may have the weapons
and you may have the wealth
but don't put me in the ground just yet
i can do it myself
on the corner of clayton or washington
you smiled like a tiger in the eastern sun
i watched my friends line up in the firing line
and someone said something, i was too caught up
you're so beautiful, let's count the ways
all the things i could guess at, that i wouldn't change
for all the glory of a trainwreck
or all the things that remain
well you may have the options
and you may have the help
but don't put me in the ground just yet
i can do it myself
don't dig that grave just yet
i can do it myself
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19. |
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on my last days
at the nevada state penitentery
i laid out the bible and the pamphlets
and the fruitcake you sent to me
i never read the bible but i ate up all your cake
it was moist and sweet like freedom
i just wanted to say
no, i will never see your tiny church
but the pamphlets make it seem very nice
tomorrow is the last walk i'll ever take
so thank you for the cake
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